I like El Prado and I like art, but sometimes an art gallery is an ordeal that strains every sinew in the artistic, unathletic body.

Part 1

How to tackle an art gallery:

Divide and conquer

Take cubism by the early afternoon

Form base camp

Distribute rations

Establish a watch for errant surrealists

Attempt the summit in the morning

Of early Renaissance and the Dutch

If you feel dizzy

Sit down and read a football magazine

Take this step-by-step

You are only one man

And this is an art gallery


Part 2

I don’t care for cubism

It may seem unkind

To dismiss an entire school

And so out of hand

But there you go

This is my poem

And I can do whatever the hell I want


Part 3

Modern art

See part 2

But I do like

The 300 paintings

Of a crucified Jesus

That are absent


Join the conversation! 41 Comments

  1. Poetically crisp and to the point. :)

  2. ha! self-confessed errant surrealist here. love that line, and the overall whimsy.

  3. Yes, sometimes an art gallery is too much of a good thing..but not your poem… love your poetic observations on everyday life!!

  4. Poem number two is perfect. Thanks!

  5. Part 3 is the best

    Art galleries are great

    Because of the many bared breast

    I may not like women

    But it’s like perusing

    Renaissance Playboy

  6. This is so accurate to the art gallery experience! You’ve summed up my struggles in 3 eloquent pieces :)

  7. Good point about the crucified Jesus pictures. I’m glad humanity’s artistic endeavors finally moved on!

  8. Hi, interesting blog, indeed some things are ‘sacred’ i just posted two drawings on the Jesus subject. Yust go to and lok for nr. 48 and nr. 49. Curious what you think about them!

  9. “I don’t care for cubism
    It may seem unkind ” –
    Love those lines :)

  10. Oh, these are all so true. Well done!!!

  11. Thanks that made me smile!

  12. Love your take on art museums! . . . Succinct and hilarious!

  13. […] Reflections On Going To An Art Gallery: “So… how ’bout that art, eh?” […]

  14. haha Great Post and a great poem!


  15. Love this and totally identify even though I love Cubism.

  16. Reblogged this on ATABO MOHAMMED and commented:
    I thing this represents expressionism in some way. Part three rocks

  17. I don’t know what errant surrealism is. I had a passing aquaintance with cubism during an Arts Appreciation class waaaay back in the day. Renaissance sounds vaguely familiar. The poems are humourous.

  18. nice post..
    congrats of being freshly pressed

  19. This really made me laugh, I loved it! Typical man “read a football magazine.” :-)

    Rach x

  20. Reblogged this on The Splendid Siren and commented:
    This is a good way to let off some thoughts that happen to be trapped in your head.

  21. You surprised me – and I laughed. Thank you. I feel I want to read more about the gallery exhibition experience now and will go searching. I once swore at the walls of a picasso exhibition because of some of the curator’s take on it all x

  22. Direct to the point! Good stuff!

  23. Loved it – have had the same feelings. Love Galleries and tend to take them small sections over many visits – too much information. My eyes will see flash art images as I rest with closed eyes.

  24. Everytime I am in art gallery, I want to go back to eighteenth century for their clothes-minus the very tight corset.


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